Body shaming- I am ashamed of my body

1 min reading time

Shame - shaming - is a very common feeling. Many people have felt it. The number one source of shame for women is their body shape and weight. So it's no surprise that most women feel uncomfortable about their bodies and many of them go on long-term diets to change their bodies and feel better about them. But how did they get to this point, to feel so ashamed of their bodies? More important would be to see what we can do to overcome this, to create a more positive body image.

Let's first see what shame is. Shame is a strong feeling that somehow something is wrong with us and we need to fix it in order to be accepted and loved. Therefore, we associate what makes us feel ashamed with our need to get the love, security, and happiness we so deeply desire.

Strong feelings of body shame can, in large part, be attributed to the narrow perceptions and expectations that the media and Western beauty culture convey about what an acceptable or desirable body should look like. These unrealistic ideals cause many women to suffer and weaken them.

Fat-shaming is a term that refers to the act of humiliating or humiliating someone who is judged to be fat or overweight by making judgmental comments about their size or making fun of them, causing a decrease in self-esteem and self-respect.

More than 2 billion adults and children worldwide are overweight or obese. This can be defined by the fact that they have more weight than normal. This is usually determined by BMI (Body Mass Index).

Many people take BMI very seriously, but it is important to remember that calculating BMI it does not take leaf or body composition into account. Plus there are some who like those who aren't skinny.

Why do people make fun of?
When people discriminate against those who are overweight or bulky, they are not concerned about the individual's health or well-being. People make fun of and make fun of those who are different and sometimes more insecure than them.

Who are the majority of people making fun of?

Thin or fit young men and women with low self-esteem. We see criticism in the media about body fatness or shape every day. Much of the media shows that very thin people are healthy and happy, and fuller people are sad and lonely. At the same time that a man's body with a belly is considered sexy and in men's stores the body shape is already referred to as "tall and bulky", for women the Plus size applies, when the belly and circumference are wide.

How was this accepted?
We are used to seeing thin women on TV and in magazines. Even models, reality shows, etc. project women with "the perfect image". We see models who have to be under a certain weight and body shape to be eligible for runways and photoshoots.

What message does this send to today's children?

That they have to look perfect, that super skinny is the perfect body type and being that way will open doors for them. When a child becomes overweight, they feel shame with low self-esteem, which can lead to poor academic performance and psychological problems.
Body image significantly affects self-esteem. When we think we look good, we feel good. But what if we never feel like we look good? We become insecure and embarrassed.

In fact, the "average Greek woman" fits in a size medium or large. The problem is that women of the "average Greek" size are not models. Many models we see in magazines and on TV are size xsmall or size small. This shows the difference between a model and the average woman. However, many children misunderstand and think of models as the average. Weight can be determined by environment, metabolism, family history, genes and habits. Health problems can increase a person's weight. Some of them mention hypothyroidism and related metabolic syndromes, polycystic ovary syndrome, Cushing's syndrome (overproduction of cortisol by the adrenal glands), as well as taking antidepressants, steroids (the synthetic forms of cortisone), etc.
Obesity is a fact that can cause health problems. Some of these include coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, breathing problems, certain types of cancer, psychological problems and severe arthritis. Polycystic ovary syndrome is also associated with obesity in adolescence.

What could you do if people comment on your weight?

Beauty has nothing to do with the size you wear. Invite these people into conversation and do not tolerate this type of behavior. Don't compare yourself to anyone else and don't worry about what others say. What matters is how you see yourself and how you feel about it. Accept your body as it is. If you don't like your body, there are many options to make a positive change in your life. Obesity can reduce a person's quality of life, so it is best to see a doctor to find out any pre-existing medical conditions before dieting. Once you ensure you are healthy, set goals, start a diet, get active, get out and have fun! Avoid discussions about diets and weight. Be proud of your body.

Most of us start to see our bodies as something bad and unlovable. By doing this, we separate ourselves from our bodies. Instead of being connected to it, we disconnect and spend trying to control it.

Two of the dominant ways we try to control our bodies are through vigorous exercise and diet. When we cannot submit to self-restraint and succumb to our appetites, we characterize it as "weak will." This further increases our shame and the vicious cycle continues.

Body shaming isn't just limited to size and shape. We can also feel shame because of our sexuality and gender. The strategies we use to deal with our shame are disconnection and control.
If we revolve around feeling ashamed of our bodies for any of these reasons, our body image is distorted and negative.

But here's some good news...body image is just that: it's an image.

It is the way we imagine our body to be. And just as we can create a negative body image, we can also recreate a more beautiful image, without having to change the body itself.
So with the perspective of taking matters into our own hands and empowering ourselves, we let go of that kind of pain that is completely optional.

There are 4 ways to start changing the way you see your body and banish shame:
1. Enjoy and accept your body as it is now.
2. Reenter your body with joy.
3. Limit your media exposure.
4. Add more joy and pleasure everyday.

By loving the image we see and letting go of the need to "fix" ourselves, we can begin to see our bodies again as whole and lovable. We can begin to walk the path with greater happiness and confidence, breaking free from the chains of shame.

Miss Drivakou
Psychologist Msc, Phd.c.
Systemic Family Therapist